Don't Be Afraid of Your Curiosity

I was thinking about my own curiosity today - specifically I was reflecting on the fact that I'm not afraid of my curiosity, but I am sometimes afraid of what other people might think of my curiosity. Here's a very recent example:

I've been doing a lot of reading/listening about psychedelics, which all started after I read the book "Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test". The curiosity is specifically around LSD, DMT, and psilocybin mushrooms - not for recreational purposes, but for the potential of a spiritually significant experience; one that gets me out of my normal modes of operation. I've read a couple of books, watched a very interesting documentary called "How to Change Your Mind" by Michael Pollan and listened to interviews** with several people including Paul Stamets who is one of the leading mycologists (mushroom scientist) in the world.

After reading and listening and watching, I was curious. I started to consider the prophets and prophetic literature in general...it is often full of bizarre imagery and sounds very similar to the 'trip reports' you hear from various people who have had psychedelic experiences. Very curious.

So I decided to start asking people I trust...the pastor of my church, a close friend, a trusted advisor and mentor. I decided to put myself out on a limb and tell these people about this thing I am curious about and see what they thought. You know what happened? It turns out that two out of the three had been curious about something similar, at some point in time. Another thing that happened was that I was able to talk through the things that perhaps lay at the root of my curiosities. Afterall - there is nothing inherently special about a psychedelic experience...it is that thing that I want from that experience that undergirds the curiosity about it. In the end, it turned out to be very helpful, to me personally, to share my curiosity with others. All three had different insights to share and I learned more about them, and myself, through the conversations.

The conclusion I've come to is that while psychedelics may potentially offer a spiritual experience that is categorically different than normal life, there is a) no certainty of that and b) no certainty that you won't also invite the demonic. There is that coupled with the fact that it also feels like it is an attempt to force God's hand. I have been praying for a long time now that God would take what's in my head (knowledge) and help move it to my heart (the inner man). In some ways He has, but I long for an experience of God rather than just knowing about Him. I've equated it to reading about and seeing pictures of the Grand Canyon versus standing on the South Rim. You can appreciate something by reading about it and seeing pictures of it, but actually experiencing it is something completely different.

For now - I have decided that God hears my prayers and will answer me in His own timing. Perhaps, as my friend Marc suggested, He is preparing me - through a time of waiting - for something significant. In other words, by waiting and being keenly aware that my prayer remains unanswered, I would be especially aware if/when God does decide to answer it. In the meantime, I will keep praying. My encouragement to others is not to be afraid to be curious, particularly when it comes to our faith. If you don't feel like you know the Bible very well, get curious about it. If you feel like you don't understand some aspect of theology, get curious about it. Be willing to wrestle and struggle - and then invite others into that. What a great thing it was to hear that I wasn't the only one who had a curiosity about psychedelics!

**Footnote: I highly recommend the interviews that Joe Rogan does with Paul Stamets and Michael Pollan. Both are good summaries of the research and study that these gentlemen have done in their respective areas and both are genuinely interesting people.